I’ll come around
If you ever want to be in love
I’ll come around
If you ever want to be in love
I’ll come around
If you ever want to be in love
Recent observations and conversations with an array of people have lead me to discover how afraid our generation has become, especially when it comes to the people around us. We are so guarded against each other, so apprehensive of each others’ opinions and standpoints, so fearful of us turning against each other at the snap of a finger. But is this really the case?
We often feel like we’re the only ones with the thoughts we have, the only ones with the experiences we have, the only ones with the emotions we share and the demons we fight. What if I told you that all of us, at our own times in our own lives, have similar emotions, demons, thoughts, perceptions, but that we have learned to project them onto different principles? We are all fearful: some of us fear political instability, some of us fear war, some of us fear love, some of us fear being alone. We are all conflicted: what is right, what is wrong, should I stay , should I go?
Scared of falling? Spread your wings. Scared of being alone? Call your friends. Scared of your thoughts? Express them. Scared of rejection? Become irresistible. Scared of success? Slow down. Scared of failing? Redefine your standards. Scared of happiness? Embrace it. Scared of pain? Do something with it.
Being fearless is a choice, and for most of us, seeing is believing. Well why not see how fearless you can be? I dare you.
We are all in this together. We are united. In our fears, in our conflicts, we rise. And with that unity and consent, ultimately, there is love.
We tend to be with (or surround ourselves with) those we aspire to be, but our generation is so fixated on “being ourselves” that we end up being with ourselves, feeling alone, feeling as if there is no one to fight with us. Not for us, not against us, but with us. We have become so fearful, so driven with insecurity and the self-perpetuated view of failure that we don’t even know success when it’s staring us in the faces. We are so clouded by our inner conflicts that we do not see the victory that is already before us: love conquers fear. To love is to overcome our insecurities. To love is to overcome our limitations. To love is to overcome our boundaries.
There is no “right time” to love: you either do, or you don’t.
As a child, I saw how fearful my peers were of studying; they preferred electronics and video games. I didn’t. I was drawn to the smell of fresh books and the unmarked innocence of new notepads. I fell in love with reading and writing, two parts of me that incidentally not many around me appreciated, nor had the patience to enjoy.
But I fell in love nonetheless, with characters, with planets, with words, with knowledge…I fell in love with the unencumbered infinity of time, space, experience. A place where there were no boundaries…
Life progressed, and innocence became a thing of the past as I slowly learned of the atrocities of which humans were capable; humans, this species I was indoctrinated to treat with respect. It was a respect I’d felt “they” hadn’t earned. Humans, the self-destructive, entitled, greedy evils destroying what was once beautiful: the planet, the lands, the seas, the people of the world…
Love had been overridden by competition, by aggression, by the anarchy that losing one’s innocence had allowed.
I learned, instead, to fight: to fight for what is right, what is true. To fight for justice. I fought for those who fought for me, and against those who detested me. I fought, until I realized that I had become exactly what I had been fighting against: FEAR. I had become… fear.
In fighting the fear, I realized that I was only fighting myself. And that the only victory was LOVE. I had to love myself. I had to overcome fear with so much love that I feared how much I could love — myself as well as others. I surrendered to my “self”, to the love that overcame fear.
So what if…just what if…we allowed someone to love us that exact same way…?
Love yourself, but let yourself be loved too.
Much like any logical flow of pros and cons, humans have a pattern of “strength” and “weakness”. But what if those “weaknesses” were not actually failures, but sacrifices that are made in order to achieve something that is for the greater good of self vs. man?
Take a human example, Einstein. Much as he was a genius with an intelligence that was through the roof, the sacrifices that he made were his ability to communicate with and be understood by people. As a child, young Albert had a speech delay that was not rectified until his later stages of childhood, leaving the boy uncommunicative, misunderstood, and alone with his thoughts. In his solitude, Einstein was given the space to develop the most advanced theories that till now still roam the planet. If anything, many of Einstein’s theories were so far ahead of time that it is more in today’s day-and-age that we understand the sacrifice he had made for us. And essentially for himself, because Einstein’s theories are his immortality.
Another prominent example is Beethoven, who is famously known for sacrificing his “hearing”. What fewer people seem to bring into discussion, however, was Beethoven’s obvious cyclothymic tendencies, where he would snap into “highs” of writing multiple symphonies simultaneously. In these phases, he would throw dinner gatherings and socialize religiously. However, it is argued that Beethoven would intentionally overwork in order to push himself into a melancholic state of mind whereby his best and most prominent works were created. In the latter stages of life when he lost his hearing, Beethoven unfortunately stooped into full-blown depression.
These are merely two of many well-known examples of Greats who have sacrificed aspects their own “humanity”, as millenials would call it. Incidentally, if the resources of our modern world were available at the time the Greats created the work that deemed their titles, then perhaps they would have been more stable, but at the sacrifice of our future. Perhaps, what made the Greats “great” is how much they sacrificed of themselves — of their time, of the effort, of their reputations, of their loved ones, and of their sanity.
What few speak of, are the people who are caught in the crossfires of what the Greats set-out to do. The failed relationships, the conflict with family, the friendships that always seemed unfinished…
It takes an inner strength to make sacrifices. A strength that comes from a drive only those who follow their passions find.
Everyone is set out to be Great in his or her own way, but we cannot assess each other by our weaknesses and sacrifices, only the strength that comes from it. We, in the modern world, are taught to “rectify” our weaknesses and conform to a standard, a norm. But sometimes, when we set our priorities straight, harmony falls into place.
Every action has an equal and opposite reaction: we reap what we sow : what you give is what you get : what you sacrifice is what you gain
Everything is cyclical and everything is connected. Sometimes, the best action is inaction, and let things fall into place naturally.
If the Greats were pushed to conform by modern standards, there would be no modern standards in the first place. So do what you are compelled to do, let that drive be the motivation that opens your eyes every single morning. Be it your passion, your family, your friends, your work, your job, your religion or what not.
In your own way. Because ultimately, things fall into place.
Surrender to yourself.
Growing up, my mother always taught me that our “life path” is like a stream, ever flowing, moving forward. We are to follow the path wherever it leads, even if it means warding off spiders, swinging through branches, climbing over rocks, and swimming through rapids. As we grow, we gather knowledge, experience, friends, lovers, challenges, hardships and what not.
Who and what we gather are like pebbles and rocks: some have rare jewels in them, others have unique minerals. If we carry every rock with us, we will become burdened. Over time, however, I’ve learned never to disregard or throw aside the pebbles, instead, place them gently in the stream and along the path so that you may come back when the time is ready. These pebbles can filter the stream and offer clarity of thought, they can be molded into gems later on in time. But always know where your treasure lie, and follow the path. If we stay on the path, we will never lose ourselves.
If we do stray from the path, we must always know how to find our ways back. Leaving clues and signs for ourselves to explore the great wide world, still knowing how to return to the path that leads us to where we need to be. To what our brains, our minds, our bodies, and our souls fundamentally desire.
Following your “life path” means going with what you know, deep down inside you, to be true to yourself. If you feel compelled to be explore and experiment, do what will get you there. If you were meant to create and construct, build as much foundation as possible. If you were born to reflect and express, learn as much as possible, meet as many as possible.
So often we find ourselves to be
What what if, just what if, we’d chosen not to change. Instead of forcing growth we could just stay the same. So much of life is letting things fall into place. What if I told you, life is not a game?
Journey on and be free, know where your roots are, know how to find your stream, know where your buried treasures lay. And do what needs to be done at whatever cost (within reason), because always, always, you can come back.
Let us be each others’ boulders, the rocks we lay by the stream.
Love and peace,
Some people are like steroid fertilizers, who enter one’s life and drench themselves so much so that there is no choice but to grow. To step out of a comfort zone and destroy all the excuses that were once sheltering and restricting. Sometimes it’s painful, sometimes it’s fun; but always, always, it’s beautiful.
When the phase of transformation is complete, when all the light and substance seeps through the cracks of a shell broken open, only beauty remains, in its finest, most pure.
The process of transformation is rarely beautiful — it is often intense, exhilarating, exciting, nerve wracking (to name the tip of the iceberg) — but what comes about it is perfect in its intent. All that was contained is freed from the cocoon that was once one’s reality, one’s whole world. Liberated from the cage that was once one’s freedom. Plucked from the prisons that once held the true essence of self.
When transformative cycles reach completion — much like the change of a season, much like the growth of a person, much like the progress of the world — the calm after the storm is the most enlightening, breathtaking moment as the light breaks the darkness.
Embrace the storm, the transformation. Often we fear the concept more than the reality, but we all have to spread our formed wings at some point…and maybe, just maybe, defy gravity.
It’s safe to say that enough articles have come up in recent years about how our generation has become, by far, one of the most narcissistic generations in human history. Not only have we been spoiled by social media’s constant reminders of self in comparison to our worlds, but we have also become so moralistic and self-righteous in our deluded drive to “rectify humanity”. What if I told you, humanity was never broken, but that our perception of self in relation to our role in “our” and “The” world is warped?
Many of us have this unspoken and almost unrecognized superiority complex where we have to “save the world” — be it the actual physical world, be it a sociologically “incepted” concept such as race, gender, status and so forth, be it sorting out other people’s relationships, be it filling in the loopholes of our memories and experiences. It is an entitlement where we feel that humanity has failed, the world is broken, and 2016 caused us to lose all hope.
I call this “entitlement” because so often we complain, about anything and anyone, which springs from the standpoint that “the person did not fit my paradigm”. Or, in laymen terms, “he/she did not live up to my standards or expectations”. And there it is, the most entitled attitude that we project our desires and expectations onto a person, or an ideological concept, or a situation, or a monetary figure etc.
We are so focused on the details of what we perceive to be our world, our reality — but of what does our world truly consist? Even as I sit here typing this behind the screen, I’m shooting myself in the foot over the irony that my world actually consists of people. Humans. My world is what it is because of the people who choose to be a part of it, and yet a screen is how we are reminded of each other. It is how we make an effort for each other.
Showing appreciation should not feel like “effort”, but how often do we get so raveled up in our own priorities, our own passions, our own perceptions, that we neglect the PEOPLE who are our reality?
If the answer is more often than you’d like, then I would recommend taking a moment to personally reflect on the issue of whether negligence renders us narcissistic.* (Clear distinction: narcissistic, an adjective describing those who are self-absorbed and self-centred. This is not to say that one is a narcissist, merely that one exhibits characteristics not unlike one.)
Before we project our repressed narcissistic behaviours onto narcissists who actually have a condition (painful as it may be), maybe we should reflect a little.
Or does all this reflection just generate more narcissism…The paradox is yours.
Have a good week!