My Story: On Love and Fear

Only LOVE can overcome FEAR.
~Mikavelli~

Personal story:

As a child, I saw how fearful my peers were of studying; they preferred electronics and video games. I didn’t. I was drawn to the smell of fresh books and the unmarked innocence of new notepads. I fell in love with reading and writing, two parts of me that incidentally not many around me appreciated, nor had the patience to enjoy.

But I fell in love nonetheless, with characters, with planets, with words, with knowledge…I fell in love with the unencumbered infinity of time, space, experience. A place where there were no boundaries…

Life progressed, and innocence became a thing of the past as I slowly learned of the atrocities of which humans were capable; humans, this species I was indoctrinated to treat with respect. It was a respect I’d felt “they” hadn’t earned. Humans, the self-destructive, entitled, greedy evils destroying what was once beautiful: the planet, the lands, the seas, the people of the world…

Love had been overridden by competition, by aggression, by the anarchy that losing one’s innocence had allowed.

I learned, instead, to fight: to fight for what is right, what is true. To fight for justice. I fought for those who fought for me, and against those who detested me. I fought, until I realized that I had become exactly what I had been fighting against: FEAR. I had become… fear.

In fighting the fear, I realized that I was only fighting myself. And that the only victory was LOVE. I had to love myself. I had to overcome fear with so much love that I feared how much I could love — myself as well as others. I surrendered to my “self”, to the love that overcame fear.

The love of “self” does not mean to be in love with yourself.
It is in the wording: the love…of self…
self’s love, not self love.

So what if…just what if…we allowed someone to love us that exact same way…?

Love yourself, but let yourself be loved too.

Peace,

Mik

Weakness is not A Failure

When “weakness” is no longer deemed as failure, rather as sacrifice, then strength alone lies in the success of what is gained. ~Mikavelli~

Much like any logical flow of pros and cons, humans have a pattern of “strength” and “weakness”. But what if those “weaknesses” were not actually failures, but sacrifices that are made in order to achieve something that is for the greater good of self vs. man?

Take a human example, Einstein. Much as he was a genius with an intelligence that was through the roof, the sacrifices that he made were his ability to communicate with and be understood by people. As a child, young Albert had a speech delay that was not rectified until his later stages of childhood, leaving the boy uncommunicative, misunderstood, and alone with his thoughts. In his solitude, Einstein was given the space to develop the most advanced theories that till now still roam the planet. If anything, many of Einstein’s theories were so far ahead of time that it is more in today’s day-and-age that we understand the sacrifice he had made for us. And essentially for himself, because Einstein’s theories are his immortality.

Another prominent example is Beethoven, who is famously known for sacrificing his “hearing”. What fewer people seem to bring into discussion, however, was Beethoven’s obvious cyclothymic tendencies, where he would snap into “highs” of writing multiple symphonies simultaneously. In these phases, he would throw dinner gatherings and socialize religiously. However, it is argued that Beethoven would intentionally overwork in order to push himself into a melancholic state of mind whereby his best and most prominent works were created. In the latter stages of life when he lost his hearing, Beethoven unfortunately stooped into full-blown depression.

These are merely two of many well-known examples of Greats who have sacrificed aspects their own “humanity”, as millenials would call it. Incidentally, if the resources of our modern world were available at the time the Greats created the work that deemed their titles, then perhaps they would have been more stable, but at the sacrifice of our future. Perhaps, what made the Greats “great” is how much they sacrificed of themselves — of their time, of the effort, of their reputations, of their loved ones, and of their sanity.

What few speak of, are the people who are caught in the crossfires of what the Greats set-out to do. The failed relationships, the conflict with family, the friendships that always seemed unfinished…

It takes an inner strength to make sacrifices. A strength that comes from a drive only those who follow their passions find.

Everyone is set out to be Great in his or her own way, but we cannot assess each other by our weaknesses and sacrifices, only the strength that comes from it. We, in the modern world, are taught to “rectify” our weaknesses and conform to a standard, a norm. But sometimes, when we set our priorities straight, harmony falls into place.

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction: we reap what we sow : what you give is what you get : what you sacrifice is what you gain

Everything is cyclical and everything is connected. Sometimes, the best action is inaction, and let things fall into place naturally.

If the Greats were pushed to conform by modern standards, there would be no modern standards in the first place. So do what you are compelled to do, let that drive be the motivation that opens your eyes every single morning. Be it your passion, your family, your friends, your work, your job, your religion or what not.

Be Great.

In your own way. Because ultimately, things fall into place.

Surrender to yourself.

Peace,

Mikavelli

 

Life is Like A Stream

Growing up, my mother always taught me that our “life path” is like a stream, ever flowing, moving forward. We are to follow the path wherever it leads, even if it means warding off spiders, swinging through branches, climbing over rocks, and swimming through rapids. As we grow, we gather knowledge, experience, friends, lovers, challenges, hardships and what not.

Who and what we gather are like pebbles and rocks: some have rare jewels in them, others have unique minerals. If we carry every rock with us, we will become burdened. Over time, however, I’ve learned never to disregard or throw aside the pebbles, instead, place them gently in the stream and along the path so that you may come back when the time is ready. These pebbles can filter the stream and offer clarity of thought, they can be molded into gems later on in time. But always know where your treasure lie, and follow the path. If we stay on the path, we will never lose ourselves.

If we do stray from the path, we must always know how to find our ways back. Leaving clues and signs for ourselves to explore the great wide world, still knowing how to return to the path that leads us to where we need to be. To what our brains, our minds, our bodies, and our souls fundamentally desire.

Following your “life path” means going with what you know, deep down inside you, to be true to yourself. If you feel compelled to be explore and experiment, do what will get you there. If you were meant to create and construct, build as much foundation as possible. If you were born to reflect and express, learn as much as possible, meet as many as possible.

So often we find ourselves to be

Searching for what we already have
Pretending to be who we already are
Trying to undo what’s already been done
Unbecoming whatever it was we became

What what if, just what if, we’d chosen not to change. Instead of forcing growth we could just stay the same. So much of life is letting things fall into place. What if I told you, life is not a game?

Journey on and be free, know where your roots are, know how to find your stream, know where your buried treasures lay. And do what needs to be done at whatever cost (within reason), because always, always, you can come back.

Let us be each others’ boulders, the rocks we lay by the stream.

Love and peace,

Mikavelli

Spread Your Transformed Wings and Defy Gravity

Some people are like steroid fertilizers, who enter one’s life and drench themselves so much so that there is no choice but to grow. To step out of a comfort zone and destroy all the excuses that were once sheltering and restricting. Sometimes it’s painful, sometimes it’s fun; but always, always, it’s beautiful.

When the phase of transformation is complete, when all the light and substance seeps through the cracks of a shell broken open, only beauty remains, in its finest, most pure.

The process of transformation is rarely beautiful — it is often intense, exhilarating, exciting, nerve wracking (to name the tip of the iceberg) — but what comes about it is perfect in its intent. All that was contained is freed from the cocoon that was once one’s reality, one’s whole world. Liberated from the cage that was once one’s freedom. Plucked from the prisons that once held the true essence of self.

When transformative cycles reach completion — much like the change of a season, much like the growth of a person, much like the progress of the world — the calm after the storm is the most enlightening, breathtaking moment as the light breaks the darkness.

Embrace the storm, the transformation. Often we fear the concept more than the reality, but we all have to spread our formed wings at some point…and maybe, just maybe, defy gravity.

~Mikavelli~

Does Negligence Render Us Narcissistic?

…of what does our world truly consist?
~Mikavelli~

It’s safe to say that enough articles have come up in recent years about how our generation has become, by far, one of the most narcissistic generations in human history. Not only have we been spoiled by social media’s constant reminders of self in comparison to our worlds, but we have also become so moralistic and self-righteous in our deluded drive to “rectify humanity”. What if I told you, humanity was never broken, but that our perception of self in relation to our role in “our” and “The” world is warped?

Many of us have this unspoken and almost unrecognized superiority complex where we have to “save the world” — be it the actual physical world, be it a sociologically “incepted” concept such as race, gender, status and so forth, be it sorting out other people’s relationships, be it filling in the loopholes of our memories and experiences. It is an entitlement where we feel that humanity has failed, the world is broken, and 2016 caused us to lose all hope.

I call this “entitlement” because so often we complain, about anything and anyone, which springs from the standpoint that “the person did not fit my paradigm”. Or, in laymen terms, “he/she did not live up to my standards or expectations”. And there it is, the most entitled attitude that we project our desires and expectations onto a person, or an ideological concept, or a situation, or a monetary figure etc.

We are so focused on the details of what we perceive to be our world, our reality — but of what does our world truly consist? Even as I sit here typing this behind the screen, I’m shooting myself in the foot over the irony that my world actually consists of people. Humans. My world is what it is because of the people who choose to be a part of it, and yet a screen is how we are reminded of each other. It is how we make an effort for each other.

Showing appreciation should not feel like “effort”, but how often do we get so raveled up in our own priorities, our own passions, our own perceptions, that we neglect the PEOPLE who are our reality? 

If the answer is more often than you’d like, then I would recommend taking a moment to personally reflect on the issue of whether negligence renders us narcissistic.* (Clear distinction: narcissistic, an adjective describing those who are self-absorbed and self-centred. This is not to say that one is a narcissist, merely that one exhibits characteristics not unlike one.)

Before we project our repressed narcissistic behaviours onto narcissists who actually have a condition (painful as it may be), maybe we should reflect a little.

Or does all this reflection just generate more narcissism…The paradox is yours.

Have a good week!

Mikavelli

References
1. Millenials Admit to Being Narcissists, but Don’t You Dare Call Them That

2. Me! Me! Me! Are we living through a narcissism epidemic?

3. Me! Me! Me! The Rise of Narcissism in The Age of the Selfie

Season Finale 0f 2016

It’s safe to say that 2016 has been a year of transitions and change for many. Not only has the international arena taken a huge turn in development (as evidenced by Dahl, 1989-90), but immigration borders somehow started closing up the same time “wanderlust” hit social media. I could go on endlessly about social media being a physical representation of how our unconscious mind is capable of blowing perception entirely out of proportion, but I fear that digression would inadvertently lead to another novella.

Alas, a small pattern has seemingly formulated within my immediate arena of social life, and as it would stand, December seems to have picked up a tad in contrast with the rest of the year. Large players in the game have shifted strategies as we embrace the alleged “New Word Order” with new players re-entering the arena. We’ve had the whole of 2016 to adapt to an unstable and ever-changing world, and many seem to be awaiting 2017 with the same anticipation seen just before 2016, 2015, 2014……

Nonetheless, there are definitely exciting turns to look forward to in the next year: all things considered, for the first time ever, I feel like history books are coming alive. As a kid with a vivid imagination, I was always curious about what the world I read about in books would be like in real life. Everything our millennial generation was taught in school, the world we were braced for, the regimes we challenged as powerless students, are coming to life with the snap of a finger. I have not lived long, but just enough to know that no era has seen a global change at the rate 2016 shifted. While we attribute the “change” to technological advances, how many of us have actually considered that perhaps it is simply our attitudes to what we’ve been absorbing that changed…?

Does our generation now possess the necessary apathy that enables us to survive these constant fluxes and cycles? Is it the instability of the external world that has forced our generation to look internally and strive for stability within ourselves?

It is for these reasons that I say with mournful delight that the key events of our year, 2016, have encompassed a few “necessary evils” that shook the globe, awoke humans, and pushed us out of the caves where thought we were safe. Yes, our generation is adequately prepared for a conceptual “war” – one that takes place using words, using technology, using ideas…but in the grand scheme of things, how important is “our role” in “the world” if we are the world?

When I was young, I had to learn that time moves “forwards” and history will remain as such, which made me wonder, “why learn history when we are preparing for the future?”

Then I grew up, and realized that time is cyclical. The human condition was once called “human nature”, and nature has a cycle. Yes, “global warming” has shaken things up with the carbon and pollution, but human “nature” is, too, reaching a season of change. Have we truly become so complacent in our place in the world that we are genuinely and deeply angered by change?

Is it anger or is it fear?

Yes, many a concept has been challenged over the year, many a regime threatened. Many weak minds have been offended, and the strong-willed have somehow lost hope. But we enter 2017 with the experience of how extreme our species is capable of being, of realizing that we are not as evolved as media wanted us to believe.

If, even for a second, we could strip from ourselves any form of definition we adhered to by way of social-media pressure, then maybe, just maybe, we’ll find out who we are..

My Love, you are more prepared than you realize. Embrace the experiences you never thought could happen; without having to think, analyze, or over explain, we now have the opportunity to experience history in the present. It is a frighteningly beautiful thing, exhilarating and nerve-wrecking to say the least.

But it is as real as whatever fictional literature we’ve ever read.

With 2017 around the corner, I guarantee it is the year dreams become reality. Fantasy becomes actuality. Fictional characters become autobiographies.

Walk undefined.
I dare you.


Peace,
Mikavelli

Merging Worlds

There are some whose worlds come together and complement each other as they merge and formulate new worlds in the making. The worlds intertwine with the commonality of foundations, where there is acceptance of differences, where there is an understanding that each individual world has its specialty.

There are others, however, whose worlds come together and collide, not in the magical, chemical way where passion goes both ways. No, the collision where all that’s left is destruction. Where all that’s left is ash and decay. When you walk past a land that was once beautiful, once solid, once secure, only to see it for what it has become. A fragment of history, a world that was once reality.

One can have multiple worlds: family, friends, work, academics, romance, and so forth — it does eventually become a constant shuffle of juggling the compartmentalization of each world. It’s knowing when to take breaks, when to go “all in”; when to rush, when to pace; when to love, when to fear…

Have you ever revisited old worlds that you’ve destroyed? Ever tread your history as if it were a biographical museum of your selves — past and present?

I have.

When you sift through the debris of the destruction from your past,
You slowly rediscover enough raw material to recreate worlds that last.

Life is an unending journey of transforming worlds: of gathering the necessary tools to construct actual worlds within worlds, to reclaim land that was never ours to claim, to build, create, and shape. It is knowing when to let go and when to push through, when it’s acceptable to rest, and when you’re just being complacent in the excuses made for laziness. When to walk away, when to confront; when to build and rebuild, or when to ditch and destroy.

Every now and then, worlds change. They change internally when one learns from experience, and externally when one strives to make an environmental difference to physical habitats. Worlds can change with the flux of the world, and ones response to the flux.

But as worlds come together, as different entities meet at a metaphorical crossroads in the middle of the universe, it results in:
a) embrace the new worlds and let yours expand or,
b) defend your world to the death by keeping out every one who tries to be a part of it.

Each of us come from a world where things work differently, where we’re taught to perceive things differently, and where we, despite how much similarity may be drilled through convention, cannot fight the unique and individual design of our DNAs. Our whole lifetime will be a journey of figuring out the roles of our worlds in the world; there is no one right answer. There are so many ways to do what’s “right”, why restrict it to the one thing you were taught from that one world you were in before it expanded?

We are what we are
We are what we choose to be
We are what we merge
We are…

Peace!
Mikavelli

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