The Road To Success

success

The road to success is paved with many an obstacle to strengthen our ability to excel. The definition of success, however, is fluid. The Corporates deems success as straight A’s and a high-paying job; the Philosophers and Psychologists define success as stable and continuous progress. Scientists view success as revolutionary breakthroughs and discoveries of new chemicals and cures, and politicians see success as the logical policies on paper, whether or not they can be carried out in society.

However, there are a few key factors which pertain to every scale, and they are simple to understand and do.

1. Compete against yourself, not anyone else. If you compete against others, you’re fighting a losing battle, unless you are the most intelligent and wealthiest person alive.

2. Do what you love and love what you do. With almost a decade of work experience, I’ve only worked six months in my life, because I love what I do.

3. Live by the advice you give others. Not only does this raise your credibility as a person, but the reason you give the advice in the first place is that you already believe it’s the “right thing to do”.

4. Get it right in your own life first. It’s easy for us to nitpick and criticize others’ flaws, but it’s a deflection hindering us from trying to get it right ourselves. If we can’t live up to our own expectations, demanding it from others is merely asking them to compensate for our own inadequacies. In doing #3, you will naturally get to #4.

5. Mistakes are experiences, but experiences are not mistakes. Don’t be too hard on yourself when you slip up and make mistakes – learn from them and remember the solution for the next time you encounter a similar problem. The scientific (natural as well as social science) world is all about experiments gone wrong – and finding solutions to fix problems they created.

6. Never mock a pain you haven’t endured. Your nightmare might be someone else’s reality; someone’s reality might only be your dream.

7. Only take criticism that works to your advantage. Humans are critical – it’s inevitable. But not all criticism is constructive, and if it’s destructive, brush it off and improve the parts you believe will help you.

8. Criticism should be constructive, not absolute. When criticising others, ensure that you use their strengths to build their weaknesses. Avoid focusing only on the weakness and telling them what to change. (See #9)

9. The right thing for you may be the wrong thing for someone else. Everything is about perspective. If you want to encourage change and progress, shift their perspective, don’t force their actions.

10. The process is just as important as the result. The results are only what can be seen on paper, but the process entails the actions and experiences. Experiential learning is the most lasting effect, and if the process is destructive, the results are only short-lived. (Click here to read Carl Rodgers’ theory of Experiential Learning.

11. Balance your life Every psychologist will tell you this: balance your life. Work out a schedule that gives you time for work, fun (creative outlet), friends, family, sports, and yourself (me-time). South China Morning Post published an article in 2013 stating that despite having long work hours, one should have at least four meals a night with the family, two nights a month spent with friends, five hours of exercise a week (even if it means taking a long walk during your lunch break), one evening a week of “me time”, and never bring work home. For a healthy mentality, when you clock-off, you clock-off:  work is  work, not life. (Unless you’re living by #2)

12. Be the person you know you are. All humans are flawed, but exert your strengths and use your virtues to positively influence others while secretly working on your weaknesses until you are satisfied. Then they will become strengths, and you will continuously shine.

Essentially, success is subjective – but subjective in the sense that you only need to compare your current self to where you were this time a year ago, five years ago, a decade ago, or more. Don’t fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others your age – we all have different backgrounds, different paradigms, different realities. We are all apples and pears, oranges and tangerines. We might be very similar to others, or very different – but we all have different experiences, therefore we have different perspectives.

So get it right in your own life, and because you can’t change 50% of the world without changing 50% of your perspective.

Mikavelli

Work Smart not Hard

 References: 1. Carl Rodger’s Theory of Experiential Learning 2. Sonya Derian – Stop Comparing Yourself To Others: An Alternative To Competing with People 3. Steve Jobs And The Seven Rules to Success 4. South China Morning Post – Parents Must Exercise Their Duty to Ensure A Balanced Life for Kids (2015) 5. Mikavelli – Do What You Love and Love What You Do

The Monetary Mistake

“Inherited fortunes are a misfortune that can only lead to sloth.”
~Alfred Nobel~

Money is volatile, it comes and goes, and even when it comes, it doesn’t necessarily lower the cost of living. In this generation, combined with growing up in a commercially competitive society, you soon learn that chasing money will get you nowhere. It’s like the leprechaun chasing the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow: “enough” just doesn’t exist, right?

 Wrong. Having “enough” money means if you can afford rent, food, bills and still have a little left over to have the occasional night out with your friends once in a while. We are consumed by the commercial mentality of consumerism that having more money means more shopping, more travelling, just more of whatever you have managed to live without for this long.

 Yes, it would be nice to have state of the art technology, to have a nice car, to travel around the world to see your loved ones and what not. But if you’re waiting around until you have “enough” money to do so in the future, I’ll tell you for a fact that unless you win the jackpot, you’re going to spend the next however long it takes to reach that “ideal figure” in your bank account. Why? Because the cost of living continuously grows. People are born, people need places to live, and earth is running out of land. Right?

 Wrong again. Earth is not running out of land, people are just flocking to places which have a stronger economy, which means that places that already have a high cost of living will continue to have a high cost of living. Now I can go on explaining how it’s all a result of colonialism, how colonisers took advantage of poor countries with lots to offer but also lack of resources, but this is the present. Yes, the past played a part, and the future will be impacted, and regardless where the focus is – if it’s on using the past to predict the future, or using the “future” to set ideals and standards for what is now – the present isn’t going to magically make things happen.

 Which brings me back to money. We have convinced ourselves (by way of media and society) that studying hard gets us a good job, good jobs bring good money, good money means raising a stable family. But why bet on the “what ifs?” Yes, education is pertinent to the future of our world, but it doesn’t have to be for money: contrary to the modern educational falacies, education is about knowledge, not status. It is about opening doors into our future by providing tools and skills, but at the end of the day, how you use them determine the level of happiness we gain from the output.

 So what is happiness? Happiness is not about chasing the pot of gold, it’s not about waiting for the day when you will be recognised and paid for your talents. It’s not about having enough money to waste and splurge. It’s about enjoying what you do have now and taking from each experience something that money will never buy. Yes, a new shirt or a new laptop might make you happy for a while, then it gets old. Think about this when you shop, “will this purchase significantly impact my functioning life?”

 Because in all honesty, if you really can’t survive without it, how has the human race not ceased to exist? Someone, somewhere, is still alive without that shirt. You don’t need it. You need happiness, and that shirt ain’t gonna make you happy. You fill your lives with objects that decay, with momentary frivol to keep you distracted, with the latest technology to make life simpler and a little lazier, with plane tickets around the world to “get away from reality.” Well face it, if you need that much reassurance and distraction in life, you’re never going to be happy.

 Just make the most of what you do have, because at the end of the day, people who love you will still be there at your lowest, and if they aren’t, then you were just their latest trend, just as your iPhone is now.

 Shit gets old. And so do humans.

 But at least humans can grow up.

McGordan

My comrades don’t fold, pop ****, get throwed
When it come to politicking all the homies need to know is
Get money, rent money
Get money, food money
Get money, school money
Stop taking shit from me
~Bambu~