Capacity has its limit; one can only withstand a certain degree before the depth of reality strikes, and the force of it only doubles. Regards to false delusions which seem to be getting me through this dreamy and surreal period of life. These moments when the ones you truly have, the ones who are truly around you, are the ones you wish would appreciate your existence.
When the past seems to fade into the distance, your efforts to forget become increasingly difficult. The need to let go, the need to forget.
The desire to curl up in a corner and let time pass.
At the same time wanting to have someone to appreciate your existence, to reassure you that your life is not purposeless and aimless.
But when that one person is taken, and only half of another is returned…
I tear my heart open
I sew myself shut
These scars remind us
That the past is real.
Shuffling between various stages of confusion, desire, hope and disappointment. Knowing exactly what your desires are, only hoping but not knowing where to look, then faced with a ton of disappointment when reality throws itself in your face; reality completely unexpected and undesirable.
Just the urge to give someone a piece of what I wish
you could give me. A piece of what you once gave me…once upon a time.
Just a little reassurance to hold me through this fluttering and fluctuating stage in life.
Just a little bit.