I’m at the borderline of my faith,
I’m at the hinterland of my devotion,
In the frontline of this battle of mine,
But I’m still alive.
The capacity to relax and enjoy life is none but a distant memory. Futile attempts at reaching out and grasping every small opportunity just slips away from one’s fingertips at each effort made. As thoughts of the conscious mind consume one’s inner being, every truth and abstract detail is left to the subconscious to tangle whilst the conscious devours one’s soul as a hungry tiger unfed for years.
Despite a genre change in music to the ears, the flagrant fact that one is trying to suppress this stress only weans a new species of pressure. As music in one’s ears are soft and sweet, as the tranquil melodies transcend one’s subconscious to a higher state of escaping reality, the sight of the city careening forward with no looking back only brings one straight back down to earth.
Verging on mental detonation, a dire need to withdraw from reality, even for a few small and short hours is ever more imperative. There is no rest, no break, no ease from this covetous reality in which one must exist in should one choose the future one dreams of.
Suppose one’s dreams and goals were to change: suppose one would much rather reside in a forest with wildlife as his only company, leaving in the past every dime, every investment ever made. What then would become of this world? If every rich man were to leave behind his money and take nothing but food and drink to live alone, would the world then become more just? Or would it be left in the hands of the incompetent?
If every skilled rich man gave up his ambition, placing this development of a World in the hands of the inept, thus the cycle would sooner or later balance out and the world would not move forward, only remain frozen in time . The world would have no hopes of progression, nor would it have need to advance. Perhaps the world is only as sophisticated as a result of the selfishness and ego of the greedy rich man. For if the rich man were not rich, and pleonexy were but a Greek myth, thus the world would not have developed into what it is, but there would be no need to change anything.
As Rosseau once philosophized, the creation of technology and discovery of agriculture was the birth of ego and status: the knowledgeable versus the ignorant – those who could farm and those who could not. This created a cycle of dependency, whereby those who could not farm depended on those who could to feed them: those who could recognised their skill and demanded a return.
Thus, knowledge is power, but power is competitive. Competition breeds improvement, and improvement requires change. Change brings forth development, and development creates greed and ego. Greed and ego initiate impulsivity, and impulsivity propagates dense decisions. Thus one is thrown back into a state of ignorance, only to relearn the steps already taken.
And so the cycle continues, each man for himself, all for the sake of relearning what was forgotten. With no change and no alterations. All the progress over centuries and millenniums of human existence, only to discover that after all these breakthroughs, we have gotten nowhere as a race. We are still what we always were: the instinct, the pride, the ego, the desire.
For if man were satisfied with food, shelter, sex and self preservation, perhaps the world would not be as advanced as this century, conversely there would also be no challenge and competition.
And there would be no need to secede from the status quo.