It’s not about what you’ve done
It’s about what you’re doing
It’s all about where you’re going
No matter where you’ve been.
~Calvin Harris~
Relationships fail because people pretend to be the person they think the other one expects. People don’t change – not in ways that actually matter anyway.
Blaming others means giving up the potential to become a better person – though people don’t change, behaviour does, and one can always change the circumstances that bring out certain aspects of ourselves.
Change might be inevitable, but that’s because society changes, not the person. Society evolves, and changes one’s mentality, but does not change one’s core.
It changes values, it changes expectations, and it drives different goals. But fundamentally, we are who we are, and we are all the same.
Humans are anarchic by nature, competitive by creation, and self-conscious because of evolution. Human evolution is a result of the creation of society, and society is a result of the competitiveness resulting from anarchy. To be truly anarchic, one will believe in no more than survival – there will be no self-monitoring, no expectation, and no desire. Only survival.
But it’s not always about getting ahead: sometimes it’s about getting better. About achieving. About reaching oneself. Initially, the only competition worth competing against is oneself, but when one exceeds expectations, finding someone you aspire to and competing with that drives direction, motivation and obsession.
Obsession is more commonly used in a negative sense, but if it weren’t for obsession, there would be no success. And in a fast-spinning First World society, success is the driving force for survival. Which renders the argument redundant – we are conformists merely to satisfy our anarchic instincts.
We believe in survival, thus we create capitalism. We believe in success, thus we create competition. We believe that competition motivates success. Ultimately, we procure. We are procurers by nature.
Amidst evolution, we are merely regressing: wearing a mask of twenty-first century materialism.
Thus, people don’t change.